Our Lady of Perpetual Inebriation

in nomine lagoena et crapula et ebrietas sancta

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Fucking Sangria!

Goddamn it. The one thing I hate about drinking sangria is all the fucking fruit flies it attracts. I've killed five already and there seems no end to them. The handle on the jug is handy indeed, but it does not counterbalance all these fucking fruit flies.

As it happens, I have a 21-year Glengoyne sitting on my shelf, waiting to be had.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

JOHNNY WALKER scotch whisky

For some unknown reason, I received an e-mail solicitation to take a survey by the makers of Johnny Walker. I don't drink Johnny Walker, wouldn't admit it if I did, and therefore have no idea why they thought I'd be interested.

First question: confirmed my age.

Second question: checked off the various boozes I drink.

Third question: when asked my relationship with Johnny Walker, I checked off "Tried it once, wouldn't drink it again."

Abruptly the survey was over and I was thanked for my participation.

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Friday, December 12, 2008

The Whisky Wench

Fiona MacNeill's an artist, a musician, but most of all a scotch connoisseur.  The first Thursday of each month she hosts a scotch whisky tasting at Merlin's Rest: $25 gets you four mini-shots of scotches from all over Scotland, a detailed history as to their origins, a considered analysis of their characteristics, and a sample of her homemade shortbread.

She's just started a new blog: http://whiskywench.com/

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Friday, November 21, 2008

OMG I Am So Good At New Drinks

Trader Joe's blood orange soda and Stoli.

"The Bloody Screwdriver."

Tastes as great as its name.

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Drunk in a Tiny Little Nation

In preparation for my Iceland vacation, a friend tipped me off about a traditional drink out there: rotted shark with a schnapps chaser.

The shark is called "hakarl" and supposedly it is stored to rot because in its original state it is far too tough for anyone to chew. Rotting softens it up and makes it digestible.

The schnapps is called Brennivin and tastes very herbal, almost anise-based like absinthe, which makes sense since the black licorice of which they are so fond is so freakin' strong.

They serve this combination up in Isafjorður, but we never made it up due to inclement weather. Isafjorður is up on the 66th parallel north, very cold and blustery, and even under clement conditions it's a dicey plane trip: the locals advise you not to look out the window when landing, it's too harrowing. However, it was raining in Reykjavik when we were to take off and storming pretty badly in Isafjorður, and the airport kept kicking back our flight in increments of hours, and after three hours we decided not to waste any more time in the airport.

Like I said, missed out on the meat/drink combo, but I did have the Brennivin on a couple occasions. I also made it my duty to check out some other local drinks: light golden beers called Thule, Viking, and Leffe. They were fine for socializing, where you're talking so much you don't notice the taste of what's in your glass, but I'm a fan of darker or spicier beers and found them uninteresting.

Behind the bar at the club called Dillon (imagine the Triple Rock if it emerged in a fishing community) I saw a tall white bottle. In huge bold letters it read "FISH" and had a picture of a fisherman, and slogans in smaller print: "the original" and "favorite classic" or something like that. I asked the cute Icelandic bartender what was up with it and in broken English she explained there was a series of liquors based off of popular breath-freshener candies and cough syrups. Not unlike Germany's Jägermeister, FISH was based on the Fisherman's Friend brand of throat lozenges, and it tasted like Halls Mentholyptus.

On the other end of the spectrum, the bar Vegamot featured a very friendly vodka called Reykavik, which was at least as smooth as Grey Goose. On the rocks it was as smooth and flavorless as Chopin. If I didn't have so much other booze churning in my gut I would've gotten messed up on that alone, and I'm not usually a fan of vodka.

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Monday, November 19, 2007



Friday, July 13, 2007

What Does Your Drink Say About You?

What Does Your Drink Say About You?

Umbrella Drinks Or Ice Cream Drinks

Those fruity, creamy concoctions can make an impression. But is that an impression you want to make?"Drinks with umbrellas and lots of garnish (cherries, oranges, pineapples) or those with contents on the rim are usually quite young," he said. "You don't catch many guys drinking anything like this; it's mostly college-aged girls."


Whether your margarita portrays you in a positive or negative light really depends on the environment in which you order it."If you're in a Mexican restaurants, eating chips and salsa, go for it," said Jacobson. "If you're at your local watering hole or upscale bar or restaurants, skip it. It can seem to others -- when ordering a margarita at the 'wrong' location -- that you are dull, living vicariously through your drink."

Whisky/Scotch On The Rocks

Sometimes drinkers of certain beverages have specific looks, Jacobson said."Your typical whisky or scotch drinker is someone who may have more than a few drinks a week," said Jacobson. "Appearance-wise, they are usually someone with facial scruff and often a bit heavier."

'Original' Martinis With Gin Or Vodka

Sipping a classic martini, whether dirty or dry, says the same thing, Jacobson."Most people who order martinis are experienced drinkers," said Jacobson. "Many are older, but if they are young, they tend to know their way around a liquor cabinet."

Rum And Cola/Diet Cola

Jacobson said that rum and cola as a signature drink suggests familiarity and someone who is unlikely to try something new."People who drink rum and cola don't know to try anything else," said Jacobson. "They are not very adventurous in life."

Bloody Mary

Thinking of ordering a bloody mary at your favorite bar or restaurant?"The people who order them the most are older ladies, often women who have seen a lot of sun," said Jacobson. "The other people who order them typically get them in the mornings, in an attempt to nurse a hangover."


Does the thought of orange juice and vodka make you salivate?"Screwdrivers are hardly ever ordered," said Jacobson."People who get these drinks are typically original thinkers," he said."They are also people who don't want to taste the booze in their drink."

Appletini, Choco-tini Any Fruity/Sweet-Tini

Flavored martinis have become quite popular in the last few years, thanks in part to the show "Sex And The City." Whether it's rimmed with a funky ingredient like graham cracker crumbs or chocolate or loaded with fruity flavors, many bars and restaurants offer at least one or two "speciality martinis.""Women who are young, typically 21-24, are most likely to be seen with flavored martinis," said Jacobson. "They tend to like them because they are pretty and they carry them around as if they were accessories to an outfit."


Cosmos, served in a martini glass, also came back into fashion thanks to pop culture. These drinks are fruity but pack an alcohol punch."The customers who order cosmos from me are typically bar flies," said Jacobson. "These are the people you see frequently, regulars who seem to like to drink a lot."


Ah, the flavor of bourbon intermingling with vermouth, bitters and cherry. Some suggest it's the next big drink, soon to be hugely popular among the trendy set."Right now, the only people I see ordering Manhattans are older men with gray hair and glasses," said Jacobson. "But that doesn't mean that won't change."

White Russian

White Russians are currently enjoying popularity among many crowds. This is the drink that is already moving from the "hipsters" and trendsetters into the mainstream.White Russians are the current drink of those "in-the-know" folks who tend to make their drinks wildly popular."Hipsters order white Russians," said Jacobson. "You'll see guys with black hair, black-framed glasses and white belts drinking white Russians at many trendy bars across the country."

What Wine Says About You

Wine can convey many messages. To many, it's a sophisticated drink, no matter what type you order. To others, wine can suggest a different meaning. Jacobson offers his interpretation of what different types of wine can suggest:

Beer Drinkers

As with wine, the beer you choose can say a lot to those around you. Jacobson described his perception of what different types of beer can tell you about the person drinking it: Next time, before you order that frothy, fruity cocktail on a date or consider an appletini while entertaining work clients, consider what your choice may suggest about your personality.